Sunday, March 14, 2010

St. Patrick's Day Resolutions

Since I dubbed my New Year's Resolutions "fake" (even though some of the goals are actually being accomplished like when the Clouser family brought me down a Pat's cheese steak, reinstating my faith in God and heaven), I've decided that this St. Patrick's Day I will make a number of real resolutions that are to be accomplished within a 12 hour buffer of March 17, 2010. There are seven of them, because St. Patrick's Day is associated with Ireland and the Irish are considered lucky, as is the number seven. Here we go!

1. Get Ella to do her impression of an Irish accent.
2. Get a local to sing a traditional Irish song with me. I'm thinking Dropkick Murphy's Dirty Water or Walk Away.
3. Eat something green.
4. Eat something blonde.
5. Drink green beer (down here that means Heineken).
6. Tell the same story three times in a row to test my friends' patience.
7. Call an estranged ex-girlfriend at three o'clock in the morning and recite the following: "Listen I know we haven't spoken in a while and normally I wouldn't bother you but I just got an email from the heir to the throne of Zimbabwe and his estate is worth millions but its all tied up in litigation. He needs like $2,000 to cover legal fees in the mean time, could I get a loan to help him out?"

Alright so that last one was kind of out of left field, but do I care? No I do not. Mainly because I probably won't remember the phone call.

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