My Friend Likes Little People

We first discovered this anomaly my first night on island when we went to Fat Boys, a bar in Red Hook. My friend, who for the purposes of this blog I will call Lincoln Hawk, introduced her short friend Alex in "Laundry Position" - that is Link came running through the crowd around the corner of the bar holding Alex on her hip like a laundry basket. The thing was that they both were acting as if this was the most normal thing that could have been happening, and when inquired as to why they were in this particular Kama Sutra-esque circumstance, Hawkman revealed "I loooooove little people"

Fair enough. Everybody has particular likes and dislikes, and Alex is a short person - so it fits.

But then a couple of days later we were sitting around the apartment and Lincoln said the following words: "I want to birth a midget." DC and I immediately stopped what we were doing and looked at each other. Most people say "I hope my baby looks like me" or "I want my son to be good at sports" or at least "maybe it'll have hair". But disclosing a preference for such a specific variety of human means one thing - she had thought about this for a while.

Still, upon further review we decided that this too was reasonable. After all, the smaller the child, the easier the childbirth, right?

Then the other night happened. We were sitting at the bar enjoying the view, when suddenly - unprovoked - Hawk tells us that for her 30th birthday, she wants midgets. "Not like, as a gift," she explained, "I want 20-30 midgets at my party, just running around like little animals."

I think its time for an intervention.