Last night was Q's birthday. Q is the dishwasher in the restaurant here, and Q is a local that actually likes white people. Immediately after typing that I realize how bad it sounds, so let me clarify by saying that at least 50% of the locals I have met legit like white people. Its like Sex Panther - 60% of the time, it works all the time (I don't know how that's relevant, but I digress...).
To celebrate his birthday, Q brought a special drink in with him last night. Its called Copperhead Wine. Here are a few facts about it:
What it is not: wine.
What it is: 151 proof rum. Also in the bottle are a coiled Cobra with a Scorpion dangling from its mouth.
I wish I were lying. In order to get it you have to go to Vietnam. I'll never go, I'm too scared of Charlie (from the conflict, not from Its Always Sunny). I'm also scared I might run into Sylvester Stallone as Rambo and be forced to try to have a conversation with him. He sounds like Shannon Sharpe with a mouth full of peanut butter.
Back on point - Copperhead Wine. The idea is you take a shot and then spend the rest of your day trying not to go blind. I took two. DC and Todd each took three. Q took close to ten. Later that night I hallucinated meeting a walking pickle. It was definitely different, his name was Bill. I kept asking if he meant Dill, but he insisted it was Bill. It kinda pissed me off, his name didn't make sense.
Tonight I traded shifts so that i could go to DC's soccer game. He is the only white player in the entire league, and I will be the only white person in the entire stands. I'm considering wearing a shirt that says "please don't rob me, I only brought $10" although I'm worried that $10 is just enough to make it worthwhile.
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