Accents and Accidents of the Southern Variety

So we all know by now that DC has a serious long-term girlfriend named Rae Rae (Valerie Rae? VR Trooper? Sound familiar yet?) and we also know that she has an eleven month old child back in Mississippi named... something. The reason I say "something" is because its impossible to remember this child's name once you have heard his nickname. Its kinda memorable. Apparently the little fella likes to stick his tongue out a lot, like something fierce, because Rae Rae calls her child "Toadfrog".

First of all, when I hear "Toadfrog", I think of a mutant villian that Godzilla had to fight before stomping through Tokyo. More importantly, however, its oxymoronic because toads and frogs (while they may look similar because they both have tongues) are very different animals. Its like saying Gatorcroc... or Zebrahorse. Do you want to guess what the response was when DC told Ms. Rae (I'm pretty sure its her last name - the name so nice you say it twice) that it was oxymoronic? I'll give you a second so you can write it down so you have proof. Go ahead, take your time.

"HUH?"

I'll bet 3 out of 4 got that right. He explained that it was not in fact a moron high on oxycontin, but instead a phrase that seems contradictory. Then he had to explain what contradictory meant. It... took a while before the conversation was back on track. Maybe that's why Matty said that when you meet a girl from Mississippi, the first thing you should ask her to do is spell it.

It turns out that the rooster crow girl dubbed Mini is actually named Baby. So... close enough. But she just left island and in what I like to call the Mississippi Swap, when she went home Nicole came in her place. Not to knock Baby because she seemed like a very sweet and attractive southern girl - but Nicole made the cut in the Hooters calendar. Her nickname is A double D because she's "ADD and has got double D's". Needless to say, it was nice to meet her. More on that later.

DC is and always has been nothing but a gentleman to ladies, but you should see how he treats his soon-to-be wife. They are like two peas in a pod. Oh - pea! That reminds me, RR said that Johnny Depp was so hot she'd let him pee in her ass. Maybe its that kind of thinking that made her leave her 11 month old child so she could take a 1 month shift in St. Thomas. You stay classy, Mississippi.