Cole Trickle Ain't Got Nothin

Its long overdue that I tribute a post to driving on island. Lets start with the primary issue - you drive on the left side of the road. Once you get used to it, you realize it makes much more sense - but it does take a little time to get used to.

Second, the roads here are pretty much all 45 degree inclines and declines and every turn is a hairpin. Taxi drivers usually have to stop before making the turn so they can honk their horn and warn any oncoming traffic. There are only certain cars that can handle such ridiculously rigorous roads, and the nineteen-ninety-something Honda Odyssey we rock is one of them.

Third, there are no such thing as stop signs in St. Thomas. I mean, they exist, but people just don't really obey them. Down here, they are called stoptionals. There is also no discretion in regard to who gets a stop sign and when. Random red octogons sit on the side of the road with no purpose. At a four way intersection there will only be one stop sign. Its pandemonium.

Fourth, there is no open container law. This means when you are getting ready to leave a bar, you don't have to throw back/leave your drink. Just ask for a plastic and you can take it for the road. In fact I've heard many drinks ordered just in that purpose - for the road. They will give you a ticket for not having a seatbelt buckled, talking on your cell phone or saying "come on meow" when pulled over, but not if you have a cold beer chilling in the cup holder.

Fifth, there is some sort of unwritten law about when you are supposed to let people turn or pull out in front of you or pretty much any awkward situation. The best is when you don't expect it and have to slam on the brakes because Johnny Rasta wants to make a right.

Sixth, MAMA T. Mama T is a green Ford Explorer with a personalized USVI license plate that drives around the island at 5 mph. She is most likely to make an appearance when you are in a serious rush or when you are lost. I think her name stands for Mama T(errible driver).

Finally - lets talk about lines. In the states, you have a line to indiate the left side of the road, a line to indicate the right and a center dotted line to indicate where your lane ends and where the oncoming traffic should stay. In the VIs there are no such lines. If you're lucky, there will be lines on the side of the road to tell you not to drive into the rock or off the cliff. If you're unlucky, there is not even close to enough room on one road for two motor vehicles.

Roads here are funny, the ones that are really steep are really narrow, but the ones that are flat seem to have 45 foot shoulders on each side. No way to explain it, besides saying... its just the Caribbean, take it easy.